Hard Features

Is VH1 Anti-Metal?

by Jonathan Mariante

Anyone who has been watching VH1 recently knows that they have, in collaboration with Blender Magazine, begun to produce a number of countdown programs covering songs they consider to be "Awesomely Bad" (whatever that means!). They cover several different categories, such as awesomely bad love songs, awesomely bad number one songs, awesomely bad dirty songs(?!?!), and the one this article is about, "The Forty Most Awesomely Bad Metal Songs". After viewing this episode, I was very angered, because I believe it was a major insult to heavy metal music and everything about it. How so? Well, as the old saying goes, let me count the ways.

First of all, it was hosted by former Headbanger's Ball host Ricky Rachtman. This man, who once championed the cause of heavy metal, has now gone and stabbed it in the back. He insulted many bands that he once praised while he was hosting Headbanger's Ball.

The other people who did commentary on the songs featured in the countdown, for the most part, seemed to have no idea what they were talking about, and didn't know a thing about heavy metal.

They were mostly actors and comedians I had never even heard of before, people who were not related to heavy metal in any way at all, and they made the most stupid and insidious comments about the songs, much of what they said betraying their lack of knowledge about the music. One of them, while commenting on the song "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake, said, "I've found better lyrics in a bowl of alphabet soup". And I suppose this individual can write better lyrics himself?

These clueless actors, comedians, and writers have no business critiquing heavy metal. They are not metal people at all. Many of them looked like something out of "Revenge Of The Nerds" or "Leave It To Beaver", with their close cut hair, button down shirts, and bifocal glasses. Not very metal! There were really only three commentators who seemed to know what they were talking about (who have also done commentary on other VH1 programs); Anthrax's Scott Ian, Henry Rollins (Black Flag/Rollins Band), and pro wrestler Chris "Y2J" Jericho, a metal expert who fronts his own band, Fozzy, and once wrote his own column for Metal Edge magazine, "Metal Is Jericho". Scott Ian, in fact, was the only person who had anything positive to say on the whole program, when he came to the defense of Whitesnake and Danzig, two of the bands led to the slaughter on this show.

Kudos to him for that, but on the other hand, I don't understand why a metal person would want to participate in a show that insults his own music. In any case, they totally had the wrong people doing commentary on this program. More METAL people were needed, people who actually know something about the music. I sometimes wonder if the commentators were paid to say the things they said, and if perhaps many of them did so as desperation moves, to give themselves some publicity and exposure by going on national television, to give a their flagging careers a boost?

Now, let's talk about the songs featured on the list. Most of them were by "hair metal" bands, which is really more hard rock than heavy metal. Europe's "The Final Countdown" was the number one pick. Other bands on the list included Motley Crue, Poison, Warrant, Winger, Cinderella, White Lion, Slaughter, Trixter, Britny Fox, Jackyl, Stryper, The Bulletboys...the usual suspects. There were also some bands included that have even less in common with metal, such as Creed, Limp Bizkit, Marilyn Manson, and Insane Clown Posse. To consider these bands metal is questionable at best, Creed in particular. Finally, many all time great heavy metal bands, whose songs are considered classics, were also on the list, including Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Dio, Accept, Grim Reaper, Loudness, Queensryche, Manowar, Danzig, Kiss, the Scorpions, Guns'N'Roses, Quiet Riot, Dokken, and Helix. In some cases, these may not have been the best songs by these bands (although that is a matter of personal opinion), but most of these bands should have been excluded from this list, just for being who they are. The greatness and talents of bands like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Dio, Queensryche, and Kiss is unquestionable, and this alone should have kept them off the list.

The Dio song they chose to trash was "The Last In Line", which is one of the greatest metal songs ever written, by one of the genre's most talented and influential vocalists and songwriters, and I fail to see how anyone can find fault in this song. Furthermore, this album, as well as the ones by Accept, Grim Reaper, and Guns'N'Roses, were given perfect scores of "10" in the book, "The Collector's Guide To Heavy Metal", by Martin Popoff, a metal expert who knows what he's talking about. Shouldn't that say something? One commentator even had the NERVE to say that Manowar isn't metal, simply because of the lyrics to the song "Blow Your Speakers". This again shows the cluelessness of the people chosen to comment, because they don't come much more metal than Manowar! Danzig's "Mother" was also included on the list, and should not have been, either, being that Danzig are a very talented and unique band who have pushed the metal envelope, and "Mother" is considered a classic. Scott Ian again came to the rescue, by saying that this song is "Beetoven" compared to most of the other songs on the list. Hell, even Beavis and Butthead liked this song! Also included was the ballad "Winds Of Change" by the Scorpions. This song was inspired by the collapse of the Berlin Wall. Is it even right to include a song inspired by such an historic event? One woman stated, "Heavy metal is not about peace".

Someone who knows nothing about heavy metal takes it upon herself to state what it should or shouldn't be about? Furthermore, while heavy metal has never been out to change the world (and since when is music supposed to do that anyway?), there has always been a great deal of social commentary in heavy metal song lyrics, ("Winds Of Change" being an example), including many anti-war songs. Another classic metal ballad they trashed on the program was "Silent Lucidity" by Queensryche. Why this song was even included on their list is a mystery to me. This is a brilliantly crafted song, written and played by one of the genre's most talented bands. "Heavy metal doesn't need philosophers"-another clueless comment by one of the idiots doing commentary who wouldn't know heavy metal if it bit him! One thing that has always made heavy metal stand out from other forms of popular music is that it very often has intelligent, thoughtful, sometimes poetic, song lyrics. The lyrics to a song like "Silent Lucidity" should be a point in favor of heavy metal, not against it. Kiss did not get by without a scathing, either. Their ballad, "Forever", was also featured on this list. First of all, if a Kiss song had to be included, wouldn't "I Was Made For Loving You" have made more sense?

This was Kiss's disco sell out song, which was, and still is, reviled by many fans. Furthermore, they also harped on the fact that the song was co-written by Michael Bolton. So what? Does it really matter who writes the song? Isn't it the actual quality of the song that really counts? VH1 also proved what turncoats they are by including "Stars" by Hear'n'Aid on the countdown. Not only is this a great song, for a good cause (Hear'N'Aid was heavy metal's equivalent to USA For Africa, a project put together by Ronnie James Dio and his band, for African famine relief, in the 80s), but it was also the Number One Metal Moment in the VH1 program, "The 100 Most Metal Moments Of All Time".

First they name this song/project the Number One Metal Moment, then they go and put it on the Awesomely Bad Metal Songs countdown. This was very self-contradictory and hypocritical, if you ask me. And this wasn't the only time this was done. Warrant's "Cherry Pie" was also featured on both countdowns. In all the "Awesomely Bad" programs, I have seen them trash songs that were praised in previous VH1 programs.

One other thing they harped on was the song "See You In Hell" by Grim Reaper, for being repetitive. Well, this song is no more repetitive than many other rock/metal songs I've heard. Listen to "You Really Got Me" by Van Halen; "Rock And Roll All Night" by Kiss; "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith; "Back In Black" by AC/DC; "Peace Sells" by Megadeth; or "Epic" by Faith No More. All very repetitious, all considered classics. And these are just six examples. Because of this, criticizing a rock song for being repetitious is not a valid criticism.

The way these songs were judged was also done all wrong. First of all, many of the judges continuously stated that heavy metal should be about nothing but sex, violence, partying, death, and Satanism, and any band that wrote about anything else was doing it wrong (and some even contradicted themselves by criticizing bands that wrote about these subjects! I have trouble understanding just what it is these people want or expect from music). This, again, shows how clueless these people are. If these "critics" think that this is all heavy metal is about, then have a lot to learn about it. People who think such things are merely believing the stereotypes and cliches about heavy metal and have not listened to the music very intently. And who is to say what heavy metal (or any form of music) is supposed to be about anyway? Every band is different, and they all write about different things, covering many, many different topics. Anyone who thinks metal is limited to a few select subject matters knows little about it. Furthermore, it seemed as if, in many cases, the songs were being judged by the lyrics.

The commentators spent more time harping on the lyrics than discussing the actual quality of the music. This is NOT the way to critique music! A song is to be judged by the quality of the music itself, not the lyrics alone. The music should be given AT LEAST equal consideration during a critique. Because of this, these "critics" did not critique the music fairly or properly. One statement I found to be especially idiotic (and there were plenty of those!) was during a "critique" of the song "Give It To Me Good" by Trixter. This particular individual disliked the lyrics to this song;"My father was a teacher/and he taught me how to live/he said son you gotta be someone/gotta take more than you give", and he suggested that the song would have been more "metal" if it had been about a father and son setting a dog on fire! Not only is this comment incredibly stupid, but it is also an insult to metal and its fans, suggesting that metal fans are sadistic and enjoy harming animals. This I know to be untrue, as I personally know many metalheads who love animals and would never hurt one. How dare this man make such a suggestion? That is completely unfair, not to mention the wrong way to judge a song. Again, the lyrics do NOT make the song! I feel the songs on the countdown were, in general, judged in a very unfair manner.

Lastly, but certainly not least, the whole concept of this program makes little sense to me. Wouldn't most fans rather see a program about the BEST heavy metal songs, rather than the worst ones? Sometimes I wonder who thinks of the ideas for programs like this, and what makes them think people will enjoy them.

I know for a fact that I am not the only person who was angered by this program. On the message board for this show at the VH1 website, I read hundred of postings about it, and EVERY SINGLE ONE was from someone who was angry about this program. I did not read one posting that had anything good to say about it. And I see new ones every time I visit there. It shows that these programs have struck a chord here. But rather than just rant and rave about it, I think we, as metal fans, should take some sort of action, and show VH1 and Blender magazine that we mean business, and will no longer take such nonsense from them. Boycotting the channel and the magazine is a good place to start. There is also a petition circulating to end the Awesomely Bad programs. To sign it, go here; http://www.petitiononline/abvh1.com We can also boycott products that sponsored the program. Below I will list products I saw advertised last time I viewed the show, that can be boycotted. This will hit VH1 where it hurts-in its wallet. I don't think we should let them get away with insulting and misrepresenting our music like this, so let's take action that will have some effect!

Again, I fail to understand the concept behind the "Awesomely Bad" programs. I thought the idea behind the entire music media was to promote music, not demote it. The attitude of these shows is very mean-spirited towards music in general. Music fans (let alone the artists who create it) do not like to see their favorite songs get trashed, especially if it is by a bunch of nobodies who are not professional music critics, and have no idea what they are talking about. I think VH1, Blender, and all the folks responsible for producing the "Awesomely Bad" programs, should take that timeless piece of advice our mothers used to give us as kids: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

Here are the products to boycott: Unisoft, Loreal, Oral-B, Orbit gum, Dove, Honda, Thermacare, Old Navy, Garnier, Toyota, "Christmas With The Kranks", Arby's, E!, Roadrunner/Time Warner, Beaches Resorts, ABC, Cingular/AT&T, Kodak, Netflix, Coinstar, Mercedes, Wendy's, DayQuil, Pantene, BMW, Verizon, Tide, TLC, NBATV, Braun, Canon, Medicare/Rascal Powerchair, Netscape, Hallmark, Country Crock/Shedd's, Sprint, Cheer, Ferrero Roche, Dentyne, "The Aviator".